The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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