if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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