i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
