Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
