whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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