My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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