So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
