we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Houston, we have a blender
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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