all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
