he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
