Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
