Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
