Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
