I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
All I want is dick and wine.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize