just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
