Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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