What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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