Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
