I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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