no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I party with great urgency now.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
