I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
