I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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