what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Randomize
