why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
