Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Randomize
