I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
