Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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