I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
