wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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