At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize