One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
