You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
