then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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