YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
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