So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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