i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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