They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Randomize
