It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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