Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
