thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
