Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
