Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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