so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It's blow job season.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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