hotel room ftw
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
