she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Bring me that man meat
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
