So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
