talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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