is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
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