Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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