walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
