last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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