I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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