How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
