this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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