dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
