So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
