Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
