Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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