pop tarts are not kleenex
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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