Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
