Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize