The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
