I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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