I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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