I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
