Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
