dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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