wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
