I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
