He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
