he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
