I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
