sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
